Those were the last words he said to me.
I was at the liquor store, sad I know lol. It was the liquor store by my house so I go there whenever I buy liquor. There is this guy, dorky white guy, who is always speaking to me. I never really paid him any mind, but today, I realized he was flirting with me.
“Do you need any help looking for anything?”
“I’m just looking for this drink my friend told me about, it is pink and I think it is called Nuvo.”
It was behind the counter. Then he started asking if I was buying it for him and when he checked my I.D., was like “You are barely past legal.”
“I don’t feel that way. I feel way past the legal age.”
“Well what does your man think about it?” he asked me.
“I don’t have one. I don’t have time for one right now.”
Then he went on to say how he knows I have needs and that I can’t be alone forever.
Well can I?
I am at the point in my life where I don’t want anything right now. Well let me rephrase this…I don’t want anything serious right now. I am tired of trying to meet guys and having to start all over and get to know them and them getting to know me. That is very tiring. I’m also at the point where I don’t want to have to think about his needs/wants in the relationship before making any type of decision. I want to be selfish and think about what I want for the time being. I have always put what I want and my needs aside or have to compromise for a relationship to try to work. I want to enjoy life and have no regrets. I have goals I want to fulfill and I have found from my past experiences, a serious relationship made it hard to fulfill them. I want to be free-spirited to do whatever the hell I want and not worry about him, whoever he may be. I want to concentrate on me.
I was talking about this to one of my very good friends about this and with us both being Sex and the City fans, we have came to the decision that I have the mindset like Samantha, for the time being. No, I’m not going around fucking every guy I come across, but she knows what she wants and she go gets it. She doesn’t depend on a man for her happiness. She finds relationships tedious and hard work which is how I feel right now about them.
I have tried the meeting of new guys and giving them a chance and I find myself not really wanting to. It is too much work and it is something I don’t need right now. I don’t mind having my fun with them but anything serious, you can scratch that.
So can I be alone forever? How would you define being alone? Not having a serious relationship but still enjoying your life with the man/men who are involved in your life? I think I can…for the time being.
