I’m on Thanksgiving Break from work, whole week off. I was actually looking forward to it. I needed a break from my students. However, as I am laying here in my bed, I am secretly wanting to be at work.
Why?
My mind is not occupied, the way I want it to be. I’m constantly thinking of him. Wishing things were a little different. I’m also thinking about how I am confused of what I really want in life. Don’t get me wrong, I know as far as my goals and ambitions but in a different aspect of my life, particularly in my love life, or the lack there of. I want to do something to take my mind off that.
So I’m sitting here laying in the bed. I spent yesterday watching Sex and the City Season 1 and 2 with some Jose Cuervo Margarita and Vodka/Cranberry. As I sat there watching it, I’m saying to myself “Oh I can relate to that” and “Maybe me and him may end up like Carrie and Mr. Big after 10 years.“ I figured I would do the same today but honestly, that is me sitting around, moping of what could have been.
I need to go out.
I called my mom up to see if she wanted to do lunch today because we both work in the education field so she is not working either. She always wants to go out for lunch when we are not working. “No, I can’t. I really don’t feel good and I have to get stuff prepared for tomorrow. You should call your sister.“ So I called my sister. She was busy with her in-laws. As I am sitting here thinking of today, I have the sudden urge to just get away. I just want to drive somewhere, somewhere not too far but far enough away from this city. Maybe Atlanta. Who can I go with? I can take my other sister, who I live with, but she doesn’t do much talking and we are on two different levels. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but it is kind of hard to explain what I want to really say.
Then I started thinking about all my friends.
99% of my friends that I do things with are 1 – in a committed relationship (long term or married), 2 – have children, or 3 – both. Also, many of those friends do not live close by. So with that being said, it is kind of hard to get them to go out with me. It is really hard when I want to do something impromptu, because they can’t just get up and go like I can. I can think of one friend that lives close by that I can do that with but she does have a life so sometimes she is not available.
I need a sidekick.
There are times like these that I wish I can have someone I can just call up and they are down for whatever in a heartbeat. Someone to help me get my mind off the rest of the world. Some may ask why not find someone I work with? Well the ones that I am friends with at work fit the 99% statistic of my friends. I am 26 years old, almost closer to 30 and more and more people are becoming part of that 99%.
I remember a time when me and my friend was just chilling at my house and it was 7 pm on a Friday night and I said “Do you want to ride up to Atlanta just because?” and she was all up for it. So we went to Atlanta, went to a couple of places and didn’t get back till 4 am. I did have to be at work by 9 am that Saturday. Even though I was half asleep at work, it was times like that particular time that I really enjoy and wish I can do now. Well that same friend is in a committed relationship and is a mother.
As I think back to myself watching Sex and the City yesterday and hoping me and him may end up like Carrie and Mr. Big after 10 years, I also wished I could have the life that Carrie and her 3 friends had at their age for the first couple of seasons. No one had children or was in a committed relationship and they can just go out and enjoy life with no worry in the world as far as “I need to find a babysitter” or “Let me talk to ______(significant other).” I am not bashing any my friends for the lifestyle they are in, I am so happy for them and they are there when I need them. However, there are times like this now where I can use a sidekick.
Now on to Season 3 of Sex and the City.
I was feeling the exact same way today…had a lot weighing on my mind, but at the same time don’t want to think about it. I don’t have anybody to hang out with today either. I wish we didn’t live so far apart lol.
This made me sad sis! I wish we lived closer so that we could just “get up and go” whenever and wherever. Sometimes I have a hard time finding someone to go out with me too, when I just want to get out of the house and do something. But don’t let your friends having boyfriends or husbands stop you from inviting them out…we’re taken Tiana, not dead lol! Nick goes out with his friends all the time and knows that he doesn’t have to “ask” me–and he doesn’t expect that from me either. Just last weekend one of my single friends invited me to a club, last minute, and I went with her and had a good time. I get frustrated ’cause sometimes my single friends won’t call me to hang out just because I’m seeing someone. So reconsider those taken friends ’cause they may be more available than you realize!