I have been doing a lot of thinking this weekend, especially today. With today being Valentines Day or to me – Single Awareness Day, it brought up a past. The other day, I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend. I don’t know why because he haven’t been on my mind at all. Then last night, while I was on facebook, I get this notification that he sent me a “heart”. I knew what it was for. He is the type of person who doesn’t do any of those applications on facebook but he sent me a heart as a way of wishing me a Happy Valentines Day. He did something like that on my birthday. We do not keep in touch so these little things is letting me know he thinks about me which I think it is very thoughtful. Even though I know we don’t have a future together but just him doing this stuff just makes me think that our six year on and off relationship wasn’t anything…it had some type of impact to him.
With that being said, he is the last person I thought I would hear from. The people I expected to hear from….of course I didn’t. The ones I least expect to, I heard from. I honestly can care less about this day…I never cared for this day since middle school. Even when I had a boyfriend, it wasn’t a big deal. But with that being said, it makes me wonder about the people who are in my life. My friends are wonderful – I’m talking about the guy or guys who were potential dating material. If my own ex can acknowledge this day towards me and we are not on a talking basis, then I would expect the ones who I’m on a talking basis with to acknowledge it.
Today, I was out in my car and listening to one of the playlist on my iPod that I have and most of the songs that were playing reminded me of the times with my ex. I always thought we had these terrible times but this reminded me that there were some good times in our relationship. Even though I would not get back into a relationship with him now, dealing with the past and present guys just made me realize what I really want. I was thinking at one point these present guys were what I needed but now I came to the realization that they are not.
