Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

« Older Entries

lets get away.

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

I have been doing a lot of thinking this weekend, especially today.  With today being Valentines Day or to me – Single Awareness Day, it brought up a past.  The other day, I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend.  I don’t know why because he haven’t been on my mind at all.  Then last night, while I was on facebook, I get this notification that he sent me a “heart”.  I knew what it was for.  He is the type of person who doesn’t do any of those applications on facebook but he sent me a heart as a way of wishing me a Happy Valentines Day.  He did something like that on my birthday.   We do not keep in touch so these little things is letting me know he thinks about me which I think it is very thoughtful.   Even though I know we don’t have a future together but just him doing this stuff just makes me think that our six year on and off relationship wasn’t anything…it had some type of impact to him.

With that being said, he is the last person I thought I would hear from.  The people I expected to hear from….of course I didn’t.  The ones I least expect to, I heard from.  I honestly can care less about this day…I never cared for this day since middle school.  Even when I had a boyfriend, it wasn’t a big deal.  But with that being said, it makes me wonder about the people who are in my life.  My friends are wonderful – I’m talking about the guy or guys who were potential dating material.  If my own ex can acknowledge this day towards me and we are not on a talking basis, then I would expect the ones who I’m on a talking basis with to acknowledge it. 

Today, I was out in my car and listening to one of the playlist on my iPod that I have and most of the songs that were playing reminded me of the times with my ex.  I always thought we had these terrible times but this reminded me that there were some good times in our relationship.  Even though I would not get back into a relationship with him now, dealing with the past and present guys just made me realize what I really want.  I was thinking at one point these present guys were what I needed but now I came to the realization that they are not.

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Bullshit, Holidays, Love and Relationships | No Comments »

there is no sex in the champagne room.

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

I told myself that I wasn’t going to make any New Years Resolution this year because I can never keep them. Well one year, I actually kept it [2007 - try something new every month] and I definitely did not follow last year’s resolutions. But I started thinking about my life now and how I do not want to make the same mistakes from 2009, 2008, 2007…you get my drift.

Two weeks ago, I was hanging out with two of my friends (and this was the first time they both met each other) and they both said I was too nice. Then last Tuesday, I was talking to a totally different person who lives on the other side of the United States and he said the same thing. I sometimes think that me being entirely too nice is my downfall in life. I put off what I want to do to do something else because someone doesn’t want to do what I want to do. I’m always going beyond what I should be doing to help someone out and I hardly say no. So one part of my resolution for this year is to be more bitchy. Make sure I take care of my own needs and do what I want to do. Speak how I really feel and not hold it in. Not be as nice as people think I am. I feel like niceness doesn’t get you anywhere. People take advantage of it and run.

Also, another resolution I’m thinking about doing is remain celibate. It may be too much information but I haven’t had any for almost two years. It is not that I couldn’t get it, I just chose not to with that person. Sometimes, I talk about just doing it just to be doing it but I know my worth. I want to make sure I wait until I am in a meaningful relationship with someone before doing the deed. So until that man comes along, there is no sex in the champagne room….but keep the glasses of champagne coming lol.

As for any others…you know the typical shit that people make as their new years resolution. Slim in the waist, fat in the butt lol.

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Holidays, Life, Love and Relationships | 1 Comment »

old maid.

Friday, December 25th, 2009

The holidays are the perfect time to spend time with family and other family members that you do not get to see on a regular basis. It is also the perfect time to be reminded about what you are doing wrong in your life.

After having my brief moment where I was feeling down about my life, I was back to feeling good…feeling confident about what my life has in store for me. Until today. Christmas Day. The one day that you are supposed to feel joy but instead I feel the opposite.

I went down to my grandpa’s house today with my family to spend Christmas with him and some other family members as well. This was a moment I was looking forward to with all of us getting together. We were all laughing and talking about different things when the topic of kids came up. Since my youngest sister is married and pregnant with her second child, I keep getting the questions about when I’m going to get married and have kids. I always try to avoid how I really feel about this situation by saying I don’t want any kids but of course that brings up more questions for me. I kept getting bombarded with questions and comments saying “You need to hurry up and have kids.” or “You need someone in your life to love you – not necessarily a husband but kids” etc. I swear it went on and on all the way back home which was an hour and a half trip. They were all asking me if I like cats because they said if I keep this up, I will be sitting in a house alone with cats (which I hate animals).

However, this talk and constant reminder of where I am in life just put a damper in my day. It made me constantly think about my future and how I am really alone. It also brought back a past that I was trying to suppress of failed whatever you want to call it with guys and how I’m almost 30 years old with no one to call my own. I was just getting over feeling this way but spending time with family on the holidays, I’m always reminded of what I don’t have compared to what I have done with my life so far. That was the last thing I needed to hear when I was finally getting over something and starting to feel good about my life and myself.

bah hum bug. :cry:

  • Share/Bookmark

Posted in Holidays, Life | No Comments »

« Older Entries