Posted by Tiana Chanell under Life, Love and Relationships
Yesterday, I was feeling depressed about certain aspects of my life. I didn’t want anything to do with anybody. I had turned my phone off and I was just sulking all day. Then later on in the day, I turned on the new song by Lupe Fiasco – I’m Beaming. I kept it on repeat because the song was gradually making me feel better about myself.
“They said my future was dark…You see me now? Just look around…I’m beaming. They used to talk when I wasn’t around…You see me now? I’m beaming. “
Once I started feeling a little better after doing some crying and sleeping, I checked my phone and saw that I had a message from a friend who wanted me to go out to this restaurant with her. I figured why not…and I’m glad I did. It really helped me take my mind off things.
However, I was back to the point where I was feeling down again this morning. I tried to keep myself busy with work and doing other things but of course my mind kept going back to the thoughts that were making me feel sad. Then later on in the afternoon, someone sent me a message on facebook. Knowing that I’m a big fan of Lupe Fiasco, he told me that there was a new mixtape with 50 plus songs and gave me the website to download it from. Once I downloaded the album and put it on my iPod, I got on my treadmill for an hour long workout listening to Lupe. I have noticed from past experiences and really realized today that listening to him makes me feel better. I continued listening to him while I was doing some more work on my computer. Lupe Fiasco is a talented rapper who does not get the credit he deserves. What I love about him is that he doesn’t rap about the typical stuff you hear on the radio. He raps about life, he tells a story with his music, and he speaks the truth. As one of the title of his songs says, hip hop has saved my life – his music made me feel better about myself and not worry about the things I was worried about.
Hip Hop, I'm Beaming, My Life
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Posted by Tiana Chanell under Bullshit, Friendship, Life, Love and Relationships
one of the hardest parts of life is deciding when to give up and when to try harder…
i have given up…for good.
2010
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Posted by Tiana Chanell under Bullshit, Life
I was downloading some music when I decided to download some Aaliyah. One of the songs I downloaded “If Your Girl Only Knew” made me think about how I truly didn’t understand it when I was in middle school…I just thought it had a kick ass beat. Well I really listened to the words of the song and it made me think about the past few weeks (sorry I have been MIA…I’ll explain that later). It is amazing when you think some things are over between you and a guy…nothing will ever come about you two…he all of a sudden resurfaces. Maybe because he is in a different location or something in his life is different. Not only that, he acts like nothing happened…tries to pick up where things left off. But the only thing is, there is a girl that is in his life. He thinks you don’t know but you do. He thinks since he “woo” you before, you would come right back to him. And the reason why he is back in your life is because he is not around her like he was when you two weren’t talking. It is amazing how life is. This happened to me with different guys so many times. They think they can play this game with me because of the type of person that I am…but really I’m on to their shit…and two can play this game. Let me quote a lyric from Aaliyah’s song…
“And if your girl could only see How you be calling me, getting fresh with me
She would probably leave you alone
She would probably curse you out and unplug her phone”
……
“She’s crazy to put up with you
Oh boy I won’t be no fool
Let you like what you see
It ain’t easy to get with me”
But enough of that…I have been so busy with my job and school. I started my online graduate classes on January 11th and they have been definitely keeping me busy. I’m enjoying it to a certain extent. I’m just ready for it to be over with though (1 more year). I’m also taking on a part time job at the school I teach at – doing after school tutoring which pays $25 an hour. I figured I better get into it to make up for the furlough days they are giving us. I have to take 4 more days of unpaid leave since the state is requiring a cut in the education funding – stupid! Also, I would like to thank Miracle for the links to help me redo my website. It is still not where I want to be but it will do for now….I’m satisfied with it. Thanks Miracle!
That’s about it for now…I’m sure I’ll have some more bullshit to blog about later lol.
2010, lame ass niggas
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